Disappearing Footsteps

By the time you reach the age of sixty, you probably have long ago decided how to live your life. I am not exactly sure in which decade that I found my life plan.

It likely happened before I went to work for Apple Computer in the eighties so I have been mostly on course since then.

I did not sit down one day and decide to start living a certain way, I suspect that I had been living that way for a long time and only managed to put the pieces together over time.

What dawned on me was that if I could leave the places and people that I touched a little better off than they were before I touched them, my life would be richer. It would be even more rewarding if I could do so without leaving a lot of traces.

If my footsteps could disappear and people were better for my having passed their way, it seemed to be a good way to live.

I knew people who were fond of burning bridges, but I have learned that life has enough twists and turns, that it is hard tell what bridge you might have to cross in the future.

Having decided to follow my own golden rule, I have tried to not leave any unhappy relationships in the past. It has turned out to be a noble but impossible goal. Some people it appears are just happier when they are miserable.

Giving them a chance to bury the hatchet is often giving them another chance to bury it in your back. Still I have found it important to make the effort to make peace.

If you have extended the hand of friendship, and it is rejected, there is not much more that you can do except move on with your life.

At a certain point in your life, you look back and take stock of your mistakes. We all make mistakes. Some impact others and are quickly forgotten. Other mistakes fester and cause hard feelings. It is those that are nice to heal.

I sometimes wonder how executives at large companies manage to sleep at night. When you look at the lives they have changed and turned upside down, I am pleased to only have a couple of people whose relationship to me is in need of repair.

Even correcting a few mistakes makes you play the game of what if with your life. It can be an interesting diversion, but the future is happening so fast that it is hard to spend much time in the past.

The older I get the better I get at not stepping on the toes of people around me.

I enjoy it almost as much as I do watching the seasons change.

Life near the beach

A lot of folks go through life with the hopes of retiring near the beach. It is a dream that gets under your skin.

You feed the dream by going on vacations to those same beaches. When retirement gets near, you start looking and trying to figure out if that summer love can become a year around one.

We managed to make it from the dream to the reality. There are some things that we have learned which everyone should consider before making a permanent move.

1. Is you dream beach home area so different that you will end up making major lifestyle adjustments?
2. Are you willing to roll with the punches as your favorite beaches become everyone's favorite beaches during the summer?
3. Does your chosen area have the services and shopping to keep you happy?
4. How do you feel about making new friends?
5. Can you find enough to entertain yourself after the novelty of walking the beaches wears off?

I often recommend that people visit their potential homes during at least three of the four seasons. Life at the beach is more seasonal than it is in many places. You need to understand those seasons, and how they might impact your life.

Some beaches almost close up shop during the winter. Then there are beach communities with significant year around communities. Make sure you know what your community is like in January and are happy with those winter differences.

Some beach areas have a lot of traffic in summer. Others have very manageable traffic. If you have been visiting the same beach area for years but have only gone in June, you should make a trip in July just so you can see the traffic and people at their peak.

Residents usually appreciate the visitors since they keep the economy going. Along the Crystal Coast where we live, for a half dozen weeks during the summer, we avoid doing our major grocery shopping on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

We also tend to eat out at unusual times in order to avoid crowds. Beyond that our behavior changes very little. We usually hit the beaches later in the afternoon. Most visitors have headed for the showers by then.

When we decided to move to the Crystal Coast, we had already looked at some areas where shopping required driving long distances. We knew we did not want that. We wanted competitive grocery shopping and at least the basics of shopping available within a twenty minute drive. We found that in Carteret County.

We also came to our new area determined to make some new friends, and we have. It is always an effort when you move, but it is well worth it. We have seen couples move and end very unhappy because they have not reached out to neighbors or found activities to occupy their time.

Before we picked this area, we knew we wanted a place to boat, fish, hike, bike and walk the beaches. We clearly understood that this area was no Myrtle Beach. It actually was exactly what we wanted. We were not looking for night life beyond beach walks.

Life at the beach can be a lot of fun. You end up being much more aware of the weather since it impacts your life so much. Our move from Roanoke, Va. to Cape Carteret, NC has been a successful one. Any move has challenges, but we have managed to work our way through them.

I highly recommend beach life to those who want an active life in beautiful surroundings.

Igloo Snow in Southwest Virginia

One of the important tools for life that I had before I met my wife was a snow saw. We have been married for over thirty years, and she maintains that I have never used it even in our many years living in a snow belt in Canada.

Being a very practical lady she has never figured out why I needed a snow saw, but I am certain many fellow adventurers will agree with my decision to have a snow saw before moving to the Canadian wilderness for ten years. It might have been used as much as my felt lined boots, but one never knows when the right tool will be needed.

Perhaps my wife is exaggerating, but those of us who have been married over thirty years know better than to seriously challenge any of our wives' long held beliefs. Given the challenge to my credibility , this most recent snow offered an opportunity that I could not pass up.

Any readers living on the east coast north of North Carolina, probably would agree with my assessment that much of that area, especially Virginia, meets the definition of a winter wonderland. Snow is everywhere and has taken on qualities not often seen in these parts.

In describing the snow that has been on the ground in Roanoke, Virginia for the last several weeks, I have recently used the term igloo snow. I came to that description after a lot of moving snow which involved cutting blocks of snow and then shoveling it.

Yesterday my wife mentioned that my allegedly unused snow saw was downstairs if I needed it in my snow removal efforts. This morning I decided that the time had come to put to rest the unfounded rumors about my snow saw's work history.

Since snow is everywhere in Roanoke, all I had to do was open our deck door and cut a block of snow. I will admit to using a dustpan to extract it, but that perfectly sawed block of snow is still a fine block of snow which I am sure could be used as a first building block for an igloo.

If my granddaughter happened to be here for this adventure, I might head out into the front yard and start cutting blocks two through one hundred. I have no doubt that we have plenty of snow for the job.

So let it be recorded officially that on February 17, 2010, nearly forty years after its purchase, there is conclusive photographic evidence that my snow saw has cut a block of snow.

With this being a winter where snow is even being seen on North Carolina's Crystal Coast, I hope that these unusual conditions are not part of a global cooling trend. However, if that is the case, I have the right tool for the climate change. Be sure to click on the image for a better view of my snow saw.

The desire to work

Wanting to be productive in society is part of the nature of most of us. I have grown up with people who keep being productive long after they have supposedly retired. In these challenging times, it is often no longer an option but a necessity for many people.

I have always enjoyed working with people and trying to help people achieve their dreams. Usually if I could help someone get closer to their dream, it ended up being financially rewarding. Sometimes in companies politics get in the way, and it is hard to find win-win situations, but being customer focused has almost always helped.

I am proud that working hard is part of my nature. I have spent the last three years trying to be the best real estate agent that I could possibly be. I have become an expert at helping people find the right kind of property near water on the NC coast. I have written countless articles and viewed literally hundreds of homes. I have become a boater who enjoys the local waters, and it has helped me to really understand the needs of my clients and also catch my fair of fish.

I have built a substantial Internet presence which starts with my Southern Outer Banks site, includes my Crystal Coast site, and a site designed to be an electronic town square. Of course I have a real estate site and a few more Internet presences including Crystal Coast Living, a blog which I am paid to write.

A lot of what I have done is area promotion. I have done travel guides for several spots including Emerald Isle and Beaufort. Through my writing and Internet sites with lots of pictures and area information, I have tried to make it easy for people to decide if the Crystal Coast of NC is the right place for them. Many people have written to thank me for all the information.

On top of that I have been successful in attracting people to the area. Some have packed up and moved without even seeing the area other than through my eyes. Others have come and found that what I have written and shown with my photos is a reality that is appealing to them. Unfortunately with the challenging real estate environment, a number of people who have wanted to make the move have been unable to do so.

My three years at real estate have proved to be a great learning experience, and I recently paid my dues for another year. However, with the continuing inactivity in the market, I am beginning to look for something to keep me busy until this real estate slump ends.

I love technology, photography, and writing. I am not sure what the order of my passions should be other than I am determined to keep family first. Real estate today is tremendously high tech which is one of the reasons I enjoy it. The amount of information that can be provided to a client is truly amazing.

Finding new ways to help people learn an area from a distance has intrigued me for a long time. I have recently starting using GPS and trip mapping of photos to help with the process. This trip from Bluewater Cove to Swansboro and Emerald is a good example. By taking the 3D view, you end up flying along in Google Earth with added pictures that I have taken.

Sometimes it possible to innovate your way out of a slump, but real estate has contracted so much that even many of the very established players are finding it difficult to survive much less innovate.

As I move forward in the next year, I expect to work hard. It will be interesting to see if real estate ends up recovering enough to eat up my time, or if I find another challenge which might be more rewarding and could possibly steal me from real estate.

As always time will tell the story, and the journey will be a substantial part of the reward. I can also count on the beach still being there when I need it.

The importance of small things

As I walked onto the beach today, I noticed how far out the ocean happened to be. It was also apparent that the slope of the beach had changed slightly since I last visited a couple weeks ago.

Just as I was about to descend to the beach, I looked behind the beach grass line and saw three or four fairly new sprouts of grass advancing into some sand on the backside of the dune.

It dawned on me how important those new sprouts might be some day. If the waves are driven over the dunes, and there is no grass there, it will be easy to lose that sand. If grass is anchoring it, then it will be much more likely to stay.

On a beach it is pretty easy to get overwhelmed by the big picture of sky and water and forget about the small things.

Often in dealing with a group of people it is far too easy to forget the individuals. We used to have some "friends' who we would run into back in the day when we were members of the local country club. We had joined so our kids and I could have a place to swim. These friends would often strike up a conversation with you, but if someone walked by whom they viewed as more important, you would be dropped like a hot potato. It was not exactly a great way to build a friendship. I have had managers who would be talking to you, and completely stop in mid sentence if an executive wandered nearby. I had to wonder where their heads were.

We had our real estate sales group holiday brunch this morning. Real estate as most people know is a tough business right now, so our last two parties have been potluck events which is fine with me since the group has some great cooks.

I have worked with a number of different companies, a very big one, Apple, and some at the other end of the spectrum. Apple was a place where there was very little effort expended making people feel welcome. The general idea was that you were lucky to be working at Apple so don't count on any warm and fuzzies. While I had some great friends and wonderful moments with the team that worked for me at Apple, beyond my immediate manager that I had for several years, there were few who made you feel really welcome.

Apple is stark contrast to the group of people I work with today. There are some very talented individuals in today's group, and some people that I value as friends. As I walked into the room for our party this morning, I saw an area associate that I had briefly worked with in another office. We talked for a moment, and then each of us wandered off talking to some others. Our group is heavily weighted toward the ladies. I think there were six of us guys there today and about eighteen ladies.

I have been with some of the people in the group for three years, and I can say without a doubt that I feel welcome and a part of the group. A lot of faces have changed over the years, and no one is having it particularly easy. The president of the company sat down beside me for a few minutes before he had to leave. There was no bitterness in his assessment of the state of the market or the company. He could have blamed his real estate agents for not bringing in enough business, but he has the business intelligence to know that we are not the ones at fault.

In fact I got the feeling that he was proud of those of us who were making personal sacrifices to hang on through a tough market. None of us have made very much money, and in fact most of us have never worked harder for so little money.

There are some little things in this whole scenario that are worth mentioning. First of all at Apple, area associates, were never considered part of the sales team. In spite of much lobbying from their managers, the corporation thought they had little value in the sales process.

In our world of real estate, it is completely different. The administrative people are considered the first people to touch the customer and as such are valued greatly for their ability to engage the customer and quickly direct the customer to the right person. It might seem like a small thing, but its importance is huge. We do not hide behind impersonal telephone trees.

Another small thing is some balance when evaluating performance. At Apple and some places I have worked. Market conditions did not matter. Whatever performance goal was thrown at you was expected to be met even if it was impossible. In fact you could be doing exceptionally well in growing your business far over the industry or company average and still lose your job.

At Apple, you could miss your number because the company could not deliver product in time, and it was still your fault.

Both Apple and one of the other companies where I worked really cared more that you did not rock the boat than they did about how good you were at doing your job. If you could stand back and look at both companies, you would wonder why management and sales were at odds with each other. I actually had one high level executive tell me that the only way to get anything out of sales people was to threaten to take something from them.

While the idea that management and sales are in the same boat might seem like a small thing, it also turns out to be a hugely important thing if you want to build companies where people enjoy working and give it their best over time. I remember when times got tough at Apple, they had to start throwing bonuses at people to keep them from leaving. Given the current management style at Apple, I wonder how many people would hang around if things were no so rosy in Cupertino. Loyalty might be an outdated concept in most of the business world, but I have to wonder what we have lost in jettisoning it?

I like to think living here on the Crystal Coast gives us a chance to be a little different since we live in place where the scenery often soothes your soul. Perhaps it is harder for people in pressure cooker metro areas to see these small things, but they certainly can make a huge difference in people's lives.

Picking your battles wisely

All it takes is one teenager living under your roof to convince a person that you need to let some of the small stuff slide and save your energy for the big battles. If you have three teenagers like we did, that becomes a necessity.

Life at Apple reinforced the view that you just need to accept some things and be willing to fight for some others. I cannot imagine telling Steve Jobs that he needs to start sharing secrets with employees.

This afternoon I got confronted over on the Point at Emerald Isle by a somewhat crazy lady. But before we get to that story, you need to understand that living and driving on the North Carolina coast where we live demands attention to the speed limit.

In the off season, when there are not enough tourists to watch, the police have little to do except catch speeders. The consequence of this is that you learn to drive very close to the speed limit, or you end up with a ticket.

I try really hard to stay below the speed limit because if you do not and end up with a ticket, your insurance rates go up. I have managed three years down here without a ticket, and I drive a lot. I am also knocking on wood as I write this.

Today we spent a few minutes talking to the Mayor of Emerald Isle. The town's new administrative office had used a number of my prints for decoration, and we had stopped by to see them. I asked him about the recent flooded streets, and after talking, we decided to go have a look ourselves.

So we drove down Coast Guard Road, and we found more water than we expected. Driving through water as deep as we found requires driving slowly unless you want to stall your car, so we were driving especially slowly since my wife does not like axle deep water.

We finally got to where Coast Guard Road runs into Inlet Drive. I stopped and made the turn to head to the corner where you can access the Point. Less than halfway there we passed a "lady" walking a dog which tried to take a bite out of my car. Instead of walking on the shoulder of the road facing traffic as the law requires, she was actually walking with her back to traffic in the middle of the lane where I was supposed to be driving. I moved over to the other lane, and as I did not think it was any big deal, I went on down to corner, turned around, parked, and walked up the ramp to shoot a few pictures.

It only took a few minutes, I got back in my car and headed out except the "lady" was blocking my way. I rolled down my window, and she said she wanted to remind me the speed limit was 25 mph because I was flying through the neighborhood and two children lived there.

About that time her dog jumped on the door of my car, I pointed at her dog, and told her to drop it. I rolled up my window, and we left. As we were pulling away, I asked my wife what speed she though I had been doing. She ventured that I might have been doing 25 mph, but that she doubted I could have been going any faster since we passed the lady so close to the stop sign.

Tonight I used Google tools to measure the distance between the stop sign and where I pulled over to take pictures. It is around 1685 feet. Assuming I had traveled less than half the distance when we passed the "lady," I had gone less than 800 feet. If you have ever ridden with my wife, you would know she is not a big fan of fast starts. That being the case, I do not do them.

So why was my accuser so upset? Perhaps her dog being upset when we drove by carried over to her. I suspect that when walking down the middle of street, anything driving by you appears to be flying. While it is the beach, it is also a road which my car has as much right on as our walker and her dog. Actually I believe she is supposed to walk on the shoulder of the road and not take up my driving lane, but like I said, it is the beach so we yield to people walking in the road.

However, to get back to the point of my post. You do need to pick your battles wisely. I have probably been down that same road 200 times in the last few years. I have passed literally hundreds of walkers, many with dogs, and more than I can count with small children. No one has ever blocked my exit and accused me of flying through the neighborhood. That is because I do not do it.

So here we are on an Island with strictly enforced speed limits, and we have someone blocking the road to complain about someone who was likely doing the speed limit or very close to it. I could have chosen to argue with the walker, but long years have taught me that she was the type where you can never win a logical argument. Her perception, right or wrong, is all that she would ever believe. She was definitely one of those, don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up people. Picking a battle would have been a waste of my time. She had already wasted hers.

I started thinking the walker could have used her energy more wisely by complaining about some much more serious problems to people who might actually listen to her.

Before we had stopped by the Mayor's office, we had visited with the folks at Reel Outdoors. The talk there was of the damage that gill nets are doing to the fish and turtle populations.

It is a serious problem, and one that bothers many of us. Then there is the problem of beach access. Our walker apparently lives along the road to the Point. There are a couple of very nice beach accesses there, but the only parking which is a good distance off on Coast Guard Road is often full in the summertime.

Many of us who would like to take advantage of all the state funded CAMA accesses would love to see some parking on Inlet Drive so that people who want to fish the Point do not have haul their gear so far. I suspect our walker would oppose that, but I know that some additional parking would be very popular with a lot of the population that does not happen to have a home on Inlet Drive.

I hate to point it out, but the beach below the tide line belongs to the people of North Carolina and eventually the majority might rule in the case of beach access.

Beach access and banning gill nets are both battles worth taking up, but I think speeding on Emerald Isle is pretty well under control

Unconditional Love

I consider myself one of the privileged few whose life has been touched by a number of wonderful animal friends. Today, Percy, one of my favorite friends of all time passed away.

Percy was a rescue cat with the smallest feet that I have ever seen on an adult cat. She also had the biggest heart of any cat that I have ever met. She never saw a lap that she did not try out. I think she was convinced that all humans loved her as much as my daughter, Erin, did.

After being an outside barn cat living somewhere near Harrisonburg, Virginia, Percy was rescued by our Roanoke area vet. When I first met Percy, I knew a cat who enjoyed being cuddled that much would be perfect for my daughter whose other two rescue cats remained a little aloof.

The name, Percy, seemed to stick to the little cat whose sometimes grumpy look had nothing to do with the love she radiated to her human friends. She was also pretty good at soaking up love just like a sponge.

That first trip years ago when I took Percy to my daughter's house in Northern Virginia was just one of many that Percy made. She was a traveling cat. She loved to go wherever my daughter went. Though she would have preferred to sit on someone's lap the whole trip, she did agree to being comfortable in a seat as long as her litter box was not too far away.

Percy had no trouble winning over our Lab, Chester. She even was the only cat that ever managed to withstand the intense scrutiny of my other daughter's two big dogs, Dozer and Byerly. Still she preferred the company of humans to that of dogs or other cats.

Percy did not ask for much in life except a regular dinner and a soft spot for her naps. She got that in spades from my daughter who made sure Percy always had a lap and a warm bed. Percy's daytime bed in my daughter's room was an electrically heated one. Because the two other cats often picked on her, Percy often got a personal escort to the litter box. At night all the warmth she needed came from cuddling with my daughter.

We are going to really miss Percy. Her unique personality touched many people including some known dog lovers. Some of my best memories of Percy are from when I was working at Apple in Reston, Virginia. I would often be the first at home, and I was not above taking a nap before dinner. Percy was always glad to see me. I can still remember how she would drape herself around my neck. My daughter kept the thermostat in the sixties, so a warm bundle of cat fur felt pretty good as I dozed through the national news.

Percy enjoyed her meals. While some cats are picky eaters, I think Percy knew how lucky she was to have Fancy Feast every night on her own plate. She also had a great talent for finding a ray of sunshine and soaking it up. We never knew Percy as a kitten, but once in a while she would play like one. It was far better entertainment than television.

Percy regularly made the trip of seven hours to our beach house. She loved the wide windowsills there. She always acted like it was her home. She would walk right in and expect to have dinner, and then she would go off exploring to make sure we had not moved anything.

When she visited us in Roanoke, she had a special hiding place in our basement. Still the best surprise that she ever gave us was one Christmas morning. We had looked all over the house trying to find her. Eventually we found that she had made her way inside the large dollhouse in Erin's room. You will find her in the second picture in this post.

While Percy is resting in peace, my memories of her will stay fresh especially on a cold winter evening when I could use a little cat fur around the neck to keep me warm.